There’s a veneer of southern charm that becomes part of your DNA when you grow up in Texas. But there can also be hidden currents of racism, bigotry, and rigid norms of masculinity.

Attitudes have changed, but 40 years ago the pressure to conform was suffocating. Especially for people like me.

People who yearned to live a more unconventional life.

Then one day my best friend Jay called me on the phone and casually said…

“What’s your credit card number?”

I gave it to him.

“WAIT…why do you need that?” I asked.

“If I’ve EVER known anyone who needed to go to Hawaii, it’s you.” he replied.“You dread the cold, you work too much and you hate wearing clothes. Anyway, you just paid for your ticket. We leave in three weeks.”

Taken back I said “Sure…why not?”

I’d only seen pictures of the ocean and I’d always wished I could see the real thing.

All I expected was a little vacation.

It was a long, non-stop flight from Dallas and the drive from the airport felt just as long. By the time we got to the hotel it was late and I was exhausted but too wound up to sleep.

After dropping my bag in the room I went down to the beach.

The soothing sound of the ocean was seductive.

I dipped my toes into the exotic water and felt warm, gentle waves lapping over my toes.

As my feet sank into the soft, cool sand I gazed up at the infinite night sky embracing the island.